i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
