i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
