I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize