It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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