i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
