i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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