k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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