I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
