i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
