The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize