I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
