it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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