So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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