i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
