4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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