ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
