I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
