you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
