Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He felt like a one man threesome
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
