My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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