I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Pants are for mortals
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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