Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
