Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
