take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
