I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize