okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
