I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize