LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
