there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
