Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
