can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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