is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
