just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I see more hoeing in ur future
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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