Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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