we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
