Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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