Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize