I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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