New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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