please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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