Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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