I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
