last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
