I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
