so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
