we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
