worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Randomize
