i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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