On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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