Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
