She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
