her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
