she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize