non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
