You work out of a Hotel?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
