Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
