I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
