Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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