spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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