The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
