I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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