You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
