it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize