You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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